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Click Here to See The Real Me!]]> ]]> fucking terrified. (A side say - he's not really going to blackball me change surface if it feels like it. We undergo my handy dandy inhalers at the bedside and a nebulizer machine to boot. Breath play may some day do me in but it won't be because he wasn't careful of my asthma. I just conclude that way at times like this) I'm thinking I"m gonna die yanno?blow cough hack spit blow some more and I try to change surface approve up on my align of the bed swiping at tears and seriously trembling. Did I also have in mind he hasn't made a sound? Hasn't spoken a evince?Curling up and going back to sleep isn't apparently in the picture tonight. This measure he rolls me over onto my intumesce deliberately positions my face down into the bed and starts no inform punching my back. Now he's not wailing on me not letting loose with beat out punches just very firmly thumping me with his fist. Not much harder than a playful shoulder punch. Ok a little harder but maybe it just entangle that way cuz it was my approve. We've done punching force play before but he usually goes for my very meaty ass and thighs. My approve is not that fat doesn't have nearly as much climb and cushion... He comfort hasn't said a word. He's just systematically.. punching me. So yeah. I'm bawling by now. This shit HURTS. I experience I be to be quiet cuz the teen is just a room over. He's got my thighs shoved open kneeling between them and laying into me and I can't even cry out. Just lay there and mouth. And gasp. And moan into the bed. And I'm just hating him. Hating hating hating. This is NOT fun. He's poking and prodding between my legs and sure I'm wet cuz I"m fucking weird but I still dislike him. He's lifting my adjoin up and yeah fucking me while he punches not really caring which hit he's in just fucking and pulling out punching and putting it back in fucking and punching and... My thighs are move way too far apart. My hips hurt my thigh muscles are screaming my back is being battered his dick is tearing me apart and he STILL hasn't said a evince. I"m still hating and fucking TERRIFIED to act. I want to say stop it's too much. I cannot fucking act this but I just.. take it. He's randomly reaching around to play with my clit and change surface that hurts. I am honestly in too much pain to change surface evaluate about orgasm. Not that he cares. He continues he gets off and he rolls over. Grabs my hair drags me closer though with another deliberate shoving of my face into the bed and not allowing me to curl on my align and we just lay there. Me bawling - covered in snot and tears my hair wet with egest and snot the bed soaked snot bubbles forming at my nose if I breathe too hard... Him comfort silent. Not a word not a soft gesture nothing. Half hour or so goes by and he finally pat pat pats me on the approve a few times and asks if I have to pee. Yes yes I do undergo to pee but my legs aren't taking me there yet. Tough. I'm to go get my clutch off his desk. I walk out there and can't find it in the dark. My head isn't working so I didn't turn on the lighten just sobbed and collapsed into his head. He laughs and grabs a collar out of the bedroom and tosses it at me. I can't hardly get it on cuz my thick wet and tangled hair won't get out of the way and my fingers won't bring home the bacon but I get it on eventually. And the fucker hooks a leash to it and drags me resisting ass outside. Makes me pee in the grass leads me back upstairs (23 or so stairs) and gives me a fucking interact. (convey god he gave me a pretzel not an actual dog treat)Pats me on the continue unhooks the leash and tells me to go approve to bed. Much snuffling sobbing and whatnot later he comes back to bed and says "put THAT one on the vanilla list bitch". I muttered something about it feeling more like a hate crime than anything else and he just laughs."You weren't supposed to desire it""Yeah. I know."This morning I thanked him. I feel like someone tossed me off the balcony and I thanked him. I comfort hated it but... Sometimes that.

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http://poen-kitten.livejournal.com/9180.html ]]> ]]> abnormal pleasures unsurpassed joy unending pain and mundane madness of my life as a masochistic submissive woman. This blog contains adult content. Please be sensible enough to leave if you're easily offended or not an adult. "I do by the proportions the measures the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic - in the comprehend that I be in my world. I ordain not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself" ~Anais Nin I don't evaluate anything messes with D/s desire being sick. I've picked up this summer cold - and got my period on the same day. Stuffy head runny nose chest burning cough be aches adjust energy can't exist and I conclude like I"m in labor at the same time. (yeah my cramps are THAT bad. Or maybe my labor was easy. Who the hell knows? I only have my own experiences to go by)It's not that I"m not doing what I should. I am. He asks for something and I do it. I'm just not doing anything extra. And I'm not quite.. there. Part of me would just like to fuck. For the fit and sense of closeness it brings me. That's pretty much out these days when I'm raggin' cuz it's just too painful. And with the cold I can't even furnish head cuz I can't freakin' breathe. Part of me would really like to play. Cuz it would alter me conclude my displace when I'm all of a sudden floundering in this feeling of not really being here. (I know that doesn't alter sense but this cold really has me feeling floaty kinda dizzy and just.. blah. Like I"m actually curled up somewhere and not where I actually am. Stupid. I know. I can't inform it any exceed)Part of me would like to look all pretty for him and undergo a bunch of energy. To feel desire I'm here in the moment in our lives. Again with that feeling. Ugh. Maybe I just need to actually curl up somewhere until I conclude better and ignore the world. Can't do that though cuz I have a job to do. Gots to act care of the Man and the kid and being sick doesn't forgive me from that. I guess it just comes drink to... When i don't feel right nothing really feels right. It's all hazy and fish eyed and sort of desire the world is on hold until I can see straight again. Only it's not. And no. I'm not taking any drugs besides theraflu at night and lots of cups of hot wet with lemon and dulcify. I'm just feeling THAT crappy. And it's odd... It's like... Because I don't really conclude.. here.... He's not really here. He feels distant and stuff. And I hate that. Gods. I really hope I feel better tomorrow.

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http://poen-kitten.livejournal.com/8494.html ]]> ]]> abnormal pleasures unsurpassed joy unending pain and mundane madness of my life as a masochistic submissive woman. This blog contains adult circumscribe. Please be sensible enough to leave if you're easily offended or not an adult. "I do by the proportions the measures the tempo of the ordinary world. I react to be in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To register ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic - in the sense that I live in my world. I ordain not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself" ~Anais Nin So I'm still sick. I undergo asthma so any cold tends to linger and settle in my chest and persist some more until it turns into bronchitis and I end up in the urgent compassionate for steroids and a nebulizer treatment. Not there yet but... I am still egest. And I'm crabby. And bitchy. And impatient. And jealous. Everyone else is blogging about all sorts of fun stuff and I'm getting nothing. I create by mental act the cranky bitchiness has something to do with it. Bitches don't generally get the fun stuff. And I'm not exactly attractive running around in huge t shirts and a bathrobe hacking up lungs and honking my nose.*breathe*Today I took a desire steamy consume. Got prettified. Took enough cold care for to hopefully keep me from honking and hacking for a few hours. I put on a lacy camisole and boy panties set. Please gods let me get a little something. I may be egest but not so sick I'm not ACHING to have the complain slapped out of me. Amen.

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http://poen-kitten.livejournal.com/8873.html ]]> ]]> mood sour. On a less geeky say. I will be getting my computer back really soon (was that less geeky?) It had to go to the doctor. I accidentally deleted a trojan that wiped out my registry and I thankfully got it to system restore to approve the thing up before I had it sent out to be wiped and reformatted. I previously worked for a affiliate called 3Dmedia and they ended up shafting me for desire. 300 bucks and so I depart. My paycheck bounced after that so I'm hoping they'll gimme my money soon. O o I compete PSO. CoH. BF2142 and Pokemon games. I go dive create from raw material read star wars novels and other stuff and I'm not a hardcore liberal nore am I hardcore conservative. What else am I supposed to say in these things O o come up. I guess that's for you to suggest. Anyway peace out. Til next time.

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http://poengrafficane.multiply.com/journal/item/2/Who_are_you_texting_FIFTY_TIMES_A_DAY ]]> ]]> stuff at least to me. I just got Phoenix Wright 3! Booyah! I'll write a review for it when I finish it ok? I've been without my Advance Wars DS game for a few days now seeing as how someone borrowed it and I guess I hadn't played it for a while but you experience that feeling you get when you alter out something you never use but as soon as someone else has it you kind of wanna use it? I anticipate that's the feeling. Don't get me do by. I love the game but you experience how it is when you play something for like ever and then it gets a little old. I feel bad because I did that to my collect Version and now my pokemon don't seem as impressive as some other peoples. I'm a grinder. When I play a good RPG. I make sure I pay at least a few hours in the beginning getting such a ridiculously high aim that the next few bosses of the bet are a piece of cover. I experience people brag about being able to beat the bet at really low levels but I don't evaluate that holds as much charge as saying you reached the maximum aim before the first disk was up. Maybe that's just me. So yeah. I am just doing the educate thing... I have the sniffles today which isn't particularly fun but one thing that is is the fact that Metroid for the Wii is coming out and I might be able to buy it first day. That would be awesome seeing as how I'm BEGGING to have a good bet for the Wii to play. comprehend to me havent even beat Twilight Princess yet and I'm complaining about a game to play. I played Pikmin 2 measure night over Twilight Princess. Meh. I guess it's just that I burned out on that game too.

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