Comment on Female Teachers, Young Boys, Secret Sex at School: Is ...

Oprah did a show recently on a disturbing new trend—Adult women having with young boys under their care. In the 1990s Mary Kay LeTourneau a 34 year-old mother of four and a teacher became a household name after she was arrested for having with a 13 year-old student. Since LeTourneau’s story broke the number of female teachers reported preying on young boys has become a disturbing trend. Oprah says. While very controversial some argue that sexual between women and underage boys are consensual and should be treated differently than sexual between men and underage girls. What do you think? Lawmakers seem to draw a distinction between male and female offenders. Women who are convicted of child molestation receive lighter sentences than their male counterparts. Oprah acknowledged that there is a different perception about offenders depending on whether they are male or female. Male offenders are often viewed with hatred and disdain while there seems to be more sympathy for the women. One of the women on her show was Lisa Zuniga Duran a 26-year-old teacher's aide at a private Christian school. Andrew the 13-year-old son of family friends was one of her students. In time their relationship developed into a secret sexual relationship. Duran says she thought she was "in love" with her teenage student. She said she was very lonely and was flattered by her student’s attention. Their sexual encounters remained secret for almost seven months. Then. Duran learned she was pregnant. When the doctor told Duran she was going to have Andrew's baby she says her sank. "I realized how far it had gone," Duran says. "It was like a huge alarm." Listening to Duran. I thought how many men give similar justifications for their sexual encounters with under-age girls. They talk about their loneliness the high they get from the flattering attention feeling of falling in and their denial of the effect of their behavior on the minor. In November 2002. Duran was arrested and charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child. She pled guilty and was sentenced to 30 days in jail and 10 years probation. Duran is also required to register as a offender for the rest of her life. When asked by Oprah she said she didn't feel like a sexual predator. I wondered how many other women are out there who are having with underage males but haven’t gotten caught yet. Think about what would happen to a male teacher who had with a 13 year-old girl. Would he get 30 days in jail? More likely 30 years would be the minimum. Would he be seen as a sexual predator? Should he? I was happy that Oprah was raising these issues but I was disappointed that she didn’t have a therapist on the show who treats the effects of sexual abuse on males. We know how devastating it can be for a girl to have with an adult male even when she may think it is consensual. But we still tend to think that boys who have with an adult woman are just “scoring early.” We don’t see the harm. We still think of it as “him having with her,” even if he is a young student and she is his teacher. What’s your experience? Is there a difference between a 26 year-old female teacher having with a 13 year-old boy and a 26 year-old male teacher having with a 13 year-old girl? Does the experience cause more harm to the girls than to the boys? Should the woman offender get a lighter punishment than the male offender? If you are a woman who had a sexual experience when you were a girl with an older male how has it affected you? If you are a man who had a sexual experience when you were a boy with an older woman how has it affected you? Women - they're no different than men have the same needs of emotional security sexual needs etc. Look at it this way - we're all animals descended from the apes! So our behaviour is just refined ape behaviour. So all this talk about older women having with younger men or boys. I WOULD venture to say - just leave it alone the world will sort itself out. We could waste our time blogging about this and no one would be the wiser while meanwhile worse things are happening on this planet which really deserve our action - poverty(south africa) hunger human rights violations (darfur) genocide(darfur) political oppression of nations peoples(zimbabwe) destruction of life (iraq) inequality among human beings the world over. so what are we talking about here? Oh my. FREAKING GOD!! I just don't understand this! Every male friend and associate I have would have LOVED to bang his hot teacher. Yes the boy/girl thing is totally different. When the boy realizes he can bang girls and its fun its overwith. When the girl realizes the boy wants to bang her her head is filled with every anti-sex thing in the. I'm not condoning anything. It's just when women have with young boys its not really a crime. If the guy says he's emotionally scarred he's lieing. Bottom line. He wants. He's glad he got some booty. It'd be even better if he can degrade the teacher and get at the same time. Bragging rights???? And yeah female teacher bangin young boy isn't a crime. But older male on young girl is FORBIDDEN. Yes its a double-standard but damnit we're different. Theres gonna be a double standard for 2 totally different things. I hate hearing about the double standard argument when men and woman might as well be different creatures. Boys can have young. Girls must be kept pure untill 18. Sux but that is the way it is. Deal with it. and all i hear from these men is "WHAA WHAT ABOUT LOVE WHAAAA CRY CRY CRY" I'm so tired of these men talking about well what if you fall in ? In my life yeah i've fallen in with girls hearts been broken but isn't that the test of life anyways? Geezus I can't stand these whiney bitches whine about how they were so violated when they really were done a favor. And you know this goes both ways because theres a rising number in young girls who post suggestive material aimed at older guys on their myspace. Theres just way too many variables for this whole dilemma to be solved. Even in 100 years. Clear the schedule for the rest of your life on debate on this matter. It won't be solved. Governments have always thought that the "hearts and minds" they see fit represent the population as a whole. Get your fxcking facts straight. Im so tired of this shxt. Keith you feel strongly and you are entitled to your opinion but the cursing just makes you look like an ass and it weakens your position. I used to think like you and at times when I see these attractive women who have had with teen boys and I call them boys. I think why couldn't that have happened to me. Now that I'm in my fifties and have seen a lot more of life. I have a different understanding. I can see beyond the hot and orgasm because for some young minds that kind of behavior is not just a lucky bit of banging with the hot teacher. The hot teacher has to be kind of screwed up in the head to have with a teen boy to begin with what's her story? Why doesn't she screw around with a guy who is of age maybe early twenties. A man in his twenties can give her everything a teen can only he might not kill himslef when things go bad or she dumps him. You may not look as deeply as I do but I'm also a father and if my young teen son was havng with his hot teacher I'd want to bust her ass. Instead of my son having a chance to grow and mature into a man who can make his own decisions here is a person who is in a position of authority Crossing The Line!. Biologically girls can get pregnant when they start to menstruate does that mean they are fair game to men who want to have with them? Not with my daughter scumbag! The same thing goes for a teen boy there is a world of difference between masturbating to the idea of banging your hot teacher and actually doing it. I believe in an age of consent. I think between two or more people needs to be done without force or intimidation. Give these kids a chance to mature beyond their genitals and biological capacity to have. Let these adult women who want to bang teen boys and grown men who want to bang teen girls have a clear understanding that it is not alright with our society at this time. If you are an adult have with another adult and leave the kids ALONE !!! Young girls are a threat to older girls. They're very pretty no track record etc. If it were 'ok' for men to pursue them lots more marriages and relationship bonds would be broken. Young girls are a threat to older women and there must be some societal taboo placed on older men having with them in order for women to retain control of the sexual realm. C'mon a nice 27 year old man who has consensual with a 14 year old girl is no different than a nice 27 year old woman who has consensual with a 14 year old boy. Whether it is right or wrong is another question all together but there is no difference between the two. To say there is would be sexist. I know that when I was a 13-16 year old boy it was unbelievable the amount of flirting older women would send my way. I've never really trusted women since. It astonished me how they would flirt with their children and/or husbands right there... I thought it was freaky. I attribute much of the problems young males have today with this issue. Men are taught to grow up to be care givers for a family but what they see around them are married women the sort they are supposed to one day marry flirting constantly with them and their friends. Robert that's some pretty twisted reasoning you have there. If you were the father of a thirteen year old daughter you would understand the many reasons for not wnating here to have with anyone at that young age. A thirteen year old girl is physically capable of intercourse and becoming pregnant but that does not make it socially right. Do you know what it take to raise a child a baby? If you did you would not want that tremendous burden put upon a child herself! What's that crap about a woman having a "History"? Do you mean that a grown woman who has had sexual relations is worth less damaged goods or not valuable as a lover compared to a child? Bullshit buddy. A real man knows a woman becomes a better lover by making and sharing intimacy. If the only sexual satisfaction you can get is with a child you have a problem. There is an old movie in which Charleton Heston lives in a remote area of the Amazon Jungle and receives a mail order bride of sorts. He shows her his mansion in the jungle and a piano he has had brought in at great expense. The lady plays it and although it is beautiful it is all out of tune and sounds lousy. Upon finding out that she has previously been married he tells her he expected her to be pure and more worthy of his greatness. She tells him a piano that is never played is not much of a piano and a woman who is pure as the unplayed instrument is certainly not a more precious item. Do you get it at all? I also think you comment about young men not being a threat is also bullshit. I may be a better lover because I know more about myself and how to please a woman at my age but sexually a young man can run circles around an old guy like myself. Your last comment was a good one too. My definition of being seduced is if a woman says hello to me. Face it we are supposed to find women attractive and if they flirt either on purpose or otherwise that does not mean they are trying to screw with our minds. It's a frigg'in game of attraction that is nature's design. Get your head screwed on right and leave these children alone so they can get a chance to grow into adults. This gender injustice in the age of so called 'equal rights' is not limited to sexual crimes. Women in general after they turn on the tears are perceived as more innocent than men who typically do not use emotional as a ploy for pity. Read Warren Farrell's excellently documented and fair assessment of the way women are treated in the American justice system. He documents case after from murder to extortion where women receive much lighter sentences for the same crimes as men. This is a case of reverse discrimination - a blind spot in ur so called politically correct society. "fame gained from rape" boy that says a lot about what you think of women and the horror of rape. The very fact that the punishment for her brother's crime was to gang rape this young woman speaks volumes about Pakistan and it's people. Getting back to the USA we don't serve up our children as sexual objects for adult pleasure because they are hormonally active. Our laws take into consideration the emotional and social stability of the child as more important that the developement of their genitalia. One eight year old getting pregnant or having a child does not make the rest of our children fair game for pedophiles. My personal school of thought happens to be shared by the masses including our legal system. Kindly keep in your mind that adults who have with minors are breaking the law in our country. When they are imprisoned they are regarded as the lowest form of life amoung the criminal population. The reason for this is probably the realization among even criminals that adults have an unwritten responsibility to protect children and not use them for their own sexual needs. Maybe if you were gang raped you would have compassion for the victims of such horror maybe if you were a child sexually abused by an adult you would have better understanding. Best of luck to the children in your life. 1. Pakistan is a country where women of all ages are more secure and enjoy liberty at al levels and in all fields of life whle retaining their dignity under the laws associated with women. USA records to produce a mother at the very early age of only 8 yrs that is enough as a proof to human right violation in american and european country. 2. Whlie there is excpetional cases of Mukhatara Mai in pakistan the ratio of women rights humilitation rate kids abuse is far more high in the countries like USA and Europe and this is on record. 3. Everyone knows how these so-called non-Profitable NGOs accumulate funds from international community just by casting a mishap to produce notorious reputation against a taregetted third world country. Mukhatara Mai case is no doubt regrettable but the emotoin of shame shyness can never allow any human being(whether male/female) to further propagate the fame gained from rape. Mukhatara Mai case turned more political then human right rather she was ridiculously awarded as a bravest woman on earth by european countries. In other words she was fooled and further made fun by showing her face to whole word. Suppose any such mishap happens with a female from someone family would their brother or father to make their girl a bravest woman like Mukhatara Mai was made? i know there are other better ways to reward bravery and encourage the voice of women against human rights vialoation while retaining her modesty shynss and shame. 4. FrankBinetti! this is so ridiculous. Do you think a teenager is a kid? or an adult?i think teenagers are no doubt adult may be in USA due to enviormental effects or due to excess use of drugs teenagers lack in gaining adulthood at right age. In Medical terms everyone is adult whose genitals can excrete/produce sexual harmonses 6. I think FrankBinetti! u r a bit confused about the difference between the words like teenage kids adulthood exactly a you are confused about what we are talking about and as much as u r confused about the ratio of human right violations in European countries as compared to Pakistan as on international record. So let me first make it very clear to everyone reading me is that we are actually not talking about "Following Rules and Laws" we are talking about "Whether the rules and laws are just or unjust?" 7. Save the kids and let the minds enjoy pleasures excittment fantasies sexual feelings without discrimination of adult-ages(teen(above 11) or mature both are adults. Kindly keep in your mind while trying to impose your personal school thoughts) Shahbaaz. I understand sexual curiosity in children and see no need to make them feel ill at ease or kept in the dark but if a child wants to know what an adult male penis looks like.. Show them a picture. Of course unless the is forced or rough it will probably not only feel good but empower the minor that is not the problem. The problem is the manipulation by the adult and all the complications that can arise from such a relationship. That is why our society sets age guidelines and forewarns adults about proper behavior with minors. Adults can't claim ignorance when they break these laws and go against the rules they are well aware of. Your idea of young women for example registering that they understand the complexities of a sexual relationship might in a perfect world but many adult women don't understand the deceit abuse and heartbreak that sometimes comes with what they think is. Please let the children enjoy childhood without the pressure of with adults whether it is forced or consensual. We can define many things as natural or happening in nature but that does not make them appropriate for a progressive society that wants to protect the young and disabled. Think with the big head. I am a male from south asia(Pakistan). 28 yrs old in age. I remember when i was merely 5 yrs old me and one of my cutest female cousin were involed in game of looking at each other sexual genitals the point is that even sexologists and psycho-logists agree that sexual feelings attraction to opp gender are basic instincts hidden desires are there in kids. I used to watch naked girls (adult female-cousins) when i was only five years old and i dont know since when all these activities started and why started? when grew adult i inquired with my roommates in cadet hostil life and most of my mates admitted the truth tht even they had had such games in pre-teen ages then i inquired this the whole life with close frends and the answer was mostly "Yes we also played such naughty sexy games due to curiosity". And in childhood girls proved to be more dominating during sexual act i remember all my cousins wanted to see inside toilet when i used to pee and when i reached adulthood a child girl of 10 yrs of age asked me to show her my penis very boldly adding alot to my wonders i had caught a few male female children of age 3 and 4 yrs playing "naked-naked" what i want to say is that the difference between Sex and Rape is that when a person(of any age) is not willing to have with other person and still the other person forces the first one to do it(without making first one mentally agree for it). Such a kind of forceful is Rape. If both male kid and adult female are ready/willing/curious for it then it should not be treated as Rape. Vice Versa could be true but there is one exception. If a female kid is unaware that loosing her virginity(breaking of hymen) may idicate her not as virgin can arm her socially and morally and still the the adult male take advantage of novice female kid and misuse her then certainly its cruel on male's part because its not just a harm(As she was ready for it) but its also harming future of a naive/novice female kid. If a man had a hymen i bet vice versa could be true. But the matter of fact is that young boys(who are mentally ready) get no physical or social harm in return. I think in european countries where education is part of education they should also introduce a system by which newly adult girls should be able to register that they are sensible enough to understand the meaning of doing intercourse with boy before they actually do it if a girl does not register it and stil used for by some male then the Intercourse must be registered as Rape with a Novice/Naive girl. Sex outside is always wrong whatever the age maybe! It only leads to emotional turmoil. In this case the immaturity of the older partner in the relationship would prevent the normal course in which the younger one matures physically and emotionally for serious and eventually in due course of time. I would consider this to be a robbery of childhood innocence and this would definitely pervert the mind of the teenager involved. It surely will not be easy to trust another person in the future. If I weren't to mince words its pure child abuse. The question of consent doesn't come into play as there's no way a 13 year could be consider mature enough to decide whether to have or not. When older adults fail miserably in regard how can a child succeed? In this age where privacy and individual rights dominate and override morality a moral gold standard is required. Loneliness cannot be an excuse. Hundreds of people feel lonely even within. Within too! The of the loneliness problem is the roblem of the. Maybe we readers experience that too. Its something which we try to cover up in different ways. So here is an answer which you can give a shot. Every person has a God-shaped vaccum which only Jesus Christ can fill. Ask Him to come into your. It works. All the time. After all didn't He design you. Won't a creator know His creation and the problems they undergo. He loves you. So much. Enough to solve your loneliness and other problems too.... Men assault boys and leave them scarred for life. A pretty teacher seduces a teen-aged boy and he walks tall. A man assaults a young girl and she is scarred for life. If he seduces her she falls in. The act may be the same but the outcome is quite different. Not only are feminists often trying to change Nature but men (and they have a point) often say what's good for the goose---. That's what you ladies want that's what you'll get. But let's recognize the fact that we are different & viva la difference! Equality is one thing in the workplace but Nature did not make us equal in the field of reproduction--and let's not forget that's what the drive is meant to do (altho we can thankfully control that now). A man seduces a girl and he has all the power it will be his way; a boy being seduced can get up and walk away. Find me a man who is scarred for life because he had with his sexy teacher as a teen-ager. Biology is telling young women in their 20's that it's way past time to get pregnant society is telling them something different. Meantime there are all those testosterone driven boys with sappy grins day after day in the classroom. It's a wonder it doesn't happen more. I am not condoning what the teachers do there has to be a consequence but we are so far away from our biological nature that many people are all messed up in the head. We make up rules in direct contrast to our nature and then get upset when we have so many problems. Our bodies are vastly different and affect our thinking about & everything--regardless of feminist ideas. We all know by the time we're in the 3rd age that life is not fair the outcomes of the crimes are not equal. Don't reply that I am excusing what was done teachers should know better maybe it should be part of their training but the boy victim goes on to a happy life and the woman grows old behind bars. Get real. a boy commiting sexual activity with will pleasure is showing equally willing pleased and curious for more and more. His sexual genital has grown adult his harmones and his changing desires and needs certainly urge him to experience sexual pleasures by any such activity. A woman of age 35 is no different in terms of he is adult human being and can be sexually and emotinally involved with another sexually young adn ready-to-do boy no matter what his age is. I know many countries where girls to marry an elder mature strong(physically socially psychologically) suportive and stable man because girls need care with sense more than the mere word of "Love" I am from pakistan and here it is old custom that girls admit that they feel more attracted by comparitively mature guys who are senior in age majority of girls are married with a man with age difference of 5 to 10 years and some times teenagers happily and willfully marry a guy of 28 yrs old man rather they call boys of same age group as small kids or nosense entities who are mentally not equivalent to her mind. So even the age difference does not matter. It is indeed levels of mind that should meet. A boy who is willingly and happily having in secrecy and full privacy with a woman of age 35 yrs is doing it with his will and i dont see any social physical,psychological or emotional kind of probs in such case. Rather the boy is practicing his built-in manly capabilities and power of domination. Some practice earlier in life and some get chance later in life. Frank Benitti! you are talking about "not to beak rules". And i am talking about setting new Rules. I bet if i were at the place of 13 yrs old boy i might have asked the 35 yrs woman to get married with me or atleast for continuing having with me as long as i can enjoy with her. I have no hymen. Let the boys and girls choose their ways you cant stop the naturalk flow of feelings thoughts. You say if a kid is curious to see a penis then show her the pic. Although eveyone knows the reality is far more beautifull and more desired than just a still pic i bet showing a kid with sexual pic would be more frustrating for te kid and it will leave him hanged in the middle of reality and illusions. Raja. So if you think its cruel to send her to jail then you think it should be no different if it were a man and 13 year old girl? After all "sex is sex". When you are young regardless of your if an adult is showing you special attention you are going to enjoy it and encourage it. But for the majority of cases the child is not actively seeking. At an age when you are trying to show you a no longer a "child" it is rare to have an adult take the time to make you feel special. Things get led and perhaps sexual acts occur. This is seduction most likely not the adults intention at the begining but one thing led to another and there they are. Wether male or female this does not have to be a traumatic event it can be enjoyable but does that mean it should have happened? If we are going to have laws governing such issues which we have for good reason then the punishment should not be swayed by the of those involved. With a social pressure on boys to be men and to get that first score we are condoning their exploitation by saying there is nothing wrong with it. Maybe little Jimmy doesn't like where things have went but society is saying it's fine so he toughs it through and believes that exploitation and pressured is just how life is. If we were to say a boy only wants could you not say some girls do aswell? Now lets throw another fish in the pot. If boys want and its all those hormones running through them then what is wrong with a male adult having with a young boy? It's no marvel that there has been a growing number of women being exposed for sexual abusing boys. Over the last decade society has finaly started to acknowledge its existance. Finally these boys are getting a voice. This is nothing new it has been occuring for countless years we just brushed it off with a pat on the back and "wellcome to manhood". Really how can he tell someone what happened and how it's effecting him if no one sees the problem. If a man will get 10yrs for asaulting a child then so should woman. Isn't that equality of the sexes? Isn't that what they are fighting for? Jed. I think the differences between adult men and adult women who have sexual relations with minors are based in our social history and beliefs. If we were neanderthals or perhaps some primitive tribe such behavior might be seen as acceptable or natural. I guess in a way if it happens then it is the result of a natural urge but in my opinion it is unacceptable whether the adult is a man or woman. Sure as a young man I fantasized of the older woman seducing me but in reality such events can end in tradgedy. There has to be a standard based on what we as a society believe to be right and wrong. The of the offender should not matter we shouldn't prosecute the pudgy forty year old male teacher who has had with a under age female and excuse the twenty five year old shapely blond female teacher who has had with a under age male because we think that's sexy. As a male. I can see the fantasy in having with and older attractive teacher and I agree I also dreamed about it (however I only had one really attractive teacher my entire life). However as a father and a husband whos wife is a teacher this is totally unacceptable. Especially at younger ages like 13 to 15. If an older woman is having with a young man in those age ranges he will fall in with her and why shouldnt he. Especially if it is his fist sexual experience. Should women get the same sentence as men yes they should. However. I do think that some people who are labeled offenders is blown out of proportion. I saw a story where a 19 year old had with a 16 year old in Georgia well actually they had and not intercourse. He was branded a offender and lost a scholarship to go to school. Actually by state law if they had intercourse he could not have been charged with anything at all. I think the laws in this country should not be the same for everyone this is what are judges should be doing applying the laws to situations. However in some of the cases where 30 year old women and teachers have with young men much younger than themselves they should be sent to jail and labeled offender for the same time frames as men. I know this ruins a fantasy for men hell it ruins mine also but it is just the right thing. And just so nobody thinks I am a prude or anything if that kid had been me having with an older sexy woman that would have been our secret and I would have never told anyone!!!!!! Betty. I agree that generally speaking if the rape is of a violent nature you are right. I was referring to the legal definition of rape as described by adults having with minors when there is no physical force used but rather seduction. Adults both men and women do not in my opinion have the right to have with minors regardless of the willingness on the part of the minor. Yes men have a greater capacity for physical violence including by force. That does not make the rape by seduction of an underage male by an adult female acceptable to me. Bottom line should be to protect the underaged. I think that violent rape is a horror tragedy and crime that should be punished vigorously. I still think there is no place for a double standard when it comes to protecting children and adults who are incapable of giving consent for whatever reasons. Men and women must be held to the same standard. It's great to see Oprah to bring such issues and make a program. Thanks to her. But as somebody said: Having a Psycho Therapist would be better... I don't know if there is any difference. It seems a Boy at 13 is able to bebecome a father(at least physically ) but is a girl at 13 fit to get pregnant ?If not then I think there is a difference. I think one should be both physically and mentally fit to have. 18 is the legal age but I think 18 is the age for a girl to get pregnant before 18 is not good. But for ,Is before equally bad ? no idea. When we start masterbating ? at 12-13 ?I thought a boy can have at 13 also cause this is time when he startsGetting those feelings. For a girl too but for pregnancy. 13 is too immature. I am asking a person who knows everything: Can't we have at 13 ? or itShould be 18 ? may be 18 is proper to get both physical and maturityI thought at 13 is not bad but would like to know the psychology... First our view that male sexuality is simple and straight forward (He just wants an orgasm and a little rub here and there to get him off is just fine) is not accurate. Even for boys there's more to it than Wham Bam. Thank You Mam). Boys like girls become emotionally attached and have the same desires for nurturing care and understanding as do girls. Second boys like girls are drawn to adults to learn about. They need to be able to trust an adult to care about the young person's needs and put their adult needs on hold in the service of the child. Adults who have with young boys or girls are never "need neutral." They always are trying to satisfy their own needs whether its for nurturing understanding. Even though a boy may want and feel he would like it from his nice looking teacher aunt neighbor etc. more than he needs an understanding and caring adult who can honor his sexuality appreciate his interest and say "no." Third in most cultures boys and girls learn about sexuality from other boys and girls not from adults. Where cultures are not so fearful of sexuality generally youth experiment with each other in an atmosphere of sexual play safety and acceptance. They learn early how to take precautions to keep pregnancy from being an issue and they learn about their own bodies and each others as they grow up. I used to think the same way when I was younger although I never found young girls to be a sexual turn on. I don't think it's the actual so much that's going to cause a problem a boy won't get pregnant and aside from disease it's just another orgasm. The problems arise from emotional complications falling in with the older woman or possibly getting her pregnant. The fact is that it's not an older woman helping a boy pass into manhood but rather an adult woman manipulating a under age emotionally immature boy for her own needs. Sorry but in my opinion there has to be a set age for when a person becomes free sport for the sexually agressive or seductive adult. I read this article about a female teacher having with a 13 year old boy as well as the various comments made. While I agree that it is not OK for an older man to have with a 13 year old girl,even if I think most men dream of doing so without doing it on the other hand I think that 13 years old boys with all those hormones filling their young bodies want to explore. It takes only a little fondling or sucking to get them up and from there they want to do it the hormones taking over. So why not let them do it? On a different note the rape of a female by a male and the rape of a male by a female are very different simply because of anatomy. Even if the rape were not satutory rape; rape is rape and offenders of either should receive the same punishment. A woman might use emotional blackmail where a male might use force; can we say that one is better than the other? However in satutory rape as mentioned before it is not the physical force but the emotional control and power within the relationship that is wrong. How can anyone say that the boys in these cases are mature enough for these women? Someone might make a case that these teacher may have had psychological problems that confined them to a much lower age than their actual age. As Letourneau said,"[Villi] dominated me in the most masculine way that any man any leader could do. I trusted him and believed in him and in our future"; this is obviously not the mindset of a healthy 34-year-old woman. A man in her shoes whould be laughed at. She is not fit to teach and should not have been allowed to. A relationship must be between equals- these are bound to have lasting effects on these young men. Especially in the teen years when one's perception of are being formed such a dysfunctional structure could lead to permanant damage. The effect of a man raping a girl and a woman raping a boy in this context are one and the same. With the fact that satutory rape is wrong what bothers me the most is not the rape itself but sexual between a student and a teacher. Not only is the teacher older and thus already in a position of power in the relationship the teacher is also an authority figure. I don't believe people who say that a boy should be happy that "he just scored early". Many girls would fantasize about being seduced by a male teacher; does that make any rape attempt any less perverse? We can not allow our courts to follow cultural perceptions while being ignoring fairness- that defeats the purpose of the court- if this were our judicial system why don't we let the public handle it? A student-teacher relationship must be platonic. Once either of them crosses the line there is no turning back the damage caused. Moreover many teens form crushes on their teachers because the teacher is unattainable. Such a crush is meant to allow a teen to explore his/her feelings and/or sexual orientation without fear of rejection or any burden of an actual relationship. Fantasy is key to developing a healthy sexual self. Once either a student or a teacher crossed the line the crush is no longer unattainable and can cause severe problems for the student in the long run. Finally some of these teachers were married or in long term. Breaking vows is obviously morally wrong. It is not just the age difference between the two parties there is much more at play. I think adult and/or "older" women have been having with minor men for centuries across many cultures. I think in some cultures it is considered "education" for an older woman to seduce a younger man to initiate him into. When I was in my early 20's and older woman approached me and asked me to seduce her younger brother on his 17th birthday! She said that if they were back in their home country there was a woman in their village who would do this for young men! But. I believe Jed and Frank and I are expressing concern for something very different. Yesterday I read a heartbreaking and horrible story about a married woman who had an affair with her 14 year old stepson and bore him a son! The stepson is now litigating for damages. We know that when men rape it is an act of power and control. We do not fully understand why women rape. I venture to say it is for the same power and control - as twisted and veiled it may be with "flattery" and "love". I'm going to stick my neck out a little here and say that most sexual abusers are survivors of sexual abuse in some form or other themselves when they were "overpowered" and or controlled by another. Our laws define what ages one is considered a minor and at what age one is an adult. In addition our society and laws are supposed to protect minors and vulnerable adults from sexual predators who take advantage of their professional position to lure seduce or rape a minor or adult. Further any time a person uses the privilege of their adult age position or authority (teacher law enforcement clergy community leader next door neighbor etc) to have power over seduce lure have with or rape a minor or a "vulnerable" adult is a crime to be punished accordingly. Michel Euler/Associated PressThe United Nations denied Mukhtar Mai who was gang-raped by order of a tribal court a chance to speak yesterday after Pakistan objected. Ms. Mai had long been scheduled to make an appearance called "An Interview With Mukhtar Mai: The Bravest Woman on Earth" in the United Nations television studios sponsored by the office for nongovernmental organizations the Virtue Foundation and the Asian-American Network Against Abuse of Human Rights. I submitted the above to demonstrate that Pakistan is not what I consider to be a progressive atmosphere for women and probably not children either. That aside I will answer your specific question. There is no physical harm I can imagine in having a teenage boy who is capable of attaining an erection having intercourse with a adult woman. The same may also apply to a teenage girl having with an adult male. We are not arguing sexual/physical compatability between teens and adults we are discussing and arguing the rules and laws of our specific society regarding the aforementioned. Some countries encourage the rape of children by Americans. Eurpoeans and adult males from other countries. We do not. Our lawmakers and public wish to protect our children from the emotional harm that consensual sexual activity between teens and adults can result in. The fantasy of with an older woman a teenage boy may have is very different from the reality. While the act itself might be wonderous in many ways we are not dealing with farm animals but human beings with a wide array of emotions and social situations. Whenever and wherever we try to level the playing field so to speak. Adults have the upper hand emotionally socially and financially over teens. This is also the reason we do not condone forced with physically or mentally handicapped adults it is a matter is being aware of giving consent. Those who are physically handicapped can give consent but may not be able to express their refusal depending on their disability. This is not a simple matter of "rights of passage" and the ability to copulate. If we are to progress as a society if other nations are to follow our lead we must protect our young disabled and elderly. Experts in these matters describe adults who can only be sexual with minors as pedophiles people who cannot relate to adults because they are either intimidated or need to control the other person in this case a minor. If the argument you make is of desperate teenage girls in third world countries sexually pleasuring wealthy adult males so that they can survive. I hope you understand this is America and I hope to God that is not the case here. Protect and respect our children and give them the opportunity to enjoy their childhood and teenage years until they are ready to be sexual with a person close to their own age. Let adults interact sexually with other consenting adults. Male or female is does not matter. As you point out though when we're dealing with emotional seduction and the mutual agreement that can happen between two people both sexes are playing on a more equal field. Men can be enticed by a young female and women can be enticed by a young male. As Luz points out most people who abuse others have themselves been subject to abuse when they were young. In this respect the sexes are similar. All are harmed when a person in a position of power authority and trust violates their position and allows themselves to become involved personally emotionally and sexually. I suspect the situation of women getting involved with younger males is a lot more common than has been recognized. I also suspect that this is becoming more common. What do you think?How can we prevent this kind of abuse from occuring? Jed there is a difference between women becoming social and sexually involved with younger adult men as opposed to women becoming sexually involved with minor or under age male. I think it's wonderful and sexy to see confident mature females interacting with younger adult males it's a sign that we are making social progress. If in fact there are more adult females having with under age males then we are taking backward steps socially in my opinion. There is a delicate time in the individual developement of a young man or woman when social and sexual can either cause harm or serve to complete their emotional developement. A socially responsible society should protect young individuals during their delicate times from the influence and seduction of adults whether or not these adults are male or female. It should go without saying that all members of a responsible society should be protected from violence of any nature. I think part of a complete answer touches on another blog by Jed "Riding Shotgun" which discusses the greater assertiveness of current day women in our society as seen in their willingness to drive in place of their male counterparts and their ability to earn greater incomes. My question is do we hope and expect men to evolve beyond their capacity to rape by seduction or force or do we give up on that and accept instead that women should sink to the level of some men? I'm not looking to see women who rape by seduction prosecuted more vigorously than men. I just want the message to be clear that our children are protected equally against male and female adults. I am shocked to hear some of the mild sentences handed out to child rapists in the name of justice. We can do better. Sexual intimacy and seduction are amazing events in the course of human developement but I think there is an appropriate age for this to occur. I also think this age may vary from person to person but we have accepted ages as a set point or guide. Most people know when they are violating that guideline.

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